I was sitting cross-legged at the edge of a huge boulder; the constant murmur of the waterfall behind me, and the dimming light of dusk, made the spot ideal for meditation. Perhaps it was the divine nature of the mountain valley, my particular mindset at the moment, or the fact that I was finally relaxing after the long hike, but I suddenly entered a deep state of meditation. I could even control it by opening and closing my eyes, allowing me to go in and out of it, choosing to focus more on certain thoughts and memories. I reviewed my recent and not so recent past. The memories were intense, loaded with emotion. I thought about my ex partner, the pure love she had professed upon me, and all the harm that I had done -to her, and to myself-. All the excesses and mindless escapism. The existentialist self destructive ego. Powerful and destructive enough to raise hell, yet silly as a child's whim. So many wild nights, endless, mindless repetition. Oh, the repetition... ...